By: Bec Harris

As we head into a new year, many parents are reflecting on family routines and goals for 2026. One common challenge is helping children take responsibility for everyday tasks – like putting away school bags, picking up towels, or tidying toys – without constant reminders. While it may seem like children are acting deliberately, understanding what’s happening in their brains can completely change how we respond.

Learning Intervention Specialist, Natalie Nicholls from PLECS Learning, shared insights about resilient kids and how parents can take a compassionate, brain-based approach to executive functioning as they head into the new year.

Understanding the “See and Do” Approach

Natalie explained that expecting children to automatically complete tasks often overlooks how their brains process information. For example, a child may ignore a school bag left in the hallway, not out of defiance, but because their brain is overwhelmed with other priorities or sensory input.

“When we delve into the why underneath, it helps us get more action and the results we’re actually looking for,” Natalie said.

As we start a new year, parents can shift their perception. Instead of assuming a child is being difficult, ask: What else is going on in their brain right now? Recognising that each child – and adult – is wired differently is a crucial first step toward effective, compassionate guidance.

How Brain Chemistry Influences Behaviour

Natalie highlighted the role of dopamine, a chemical that influences motivation, task initiation, and attention. Low dopamine levels, often seen in children with ADHD traits, can make it harder for kids to start tasks or notice what needs to be done.

Parents can support their children in the new year by:

1. Exploring ways to increase dopamine naturally
2. Using structured strategies to teach children how to see and act on tasks

“We cannot expect a child’s behaviour to exceed the brain’s capacity,” Natalie explained. “This applies to adults too – when expectations exceed capacity, we get stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed.”

Understanding this principle allows parents to approach children with more compassion and less frustration in 2026 and beyond.

Trauma and Neurodiversity: Seeing the Bigger Picture

Natalie also addressed the impact of trauma and neurodiversity. Children who have experienced trauma may react based on the age at which the trauma occurred. Similarly, children with ADHD or other neurodiverse traits may appear hyperactive or withdrawn.

“The brain will go into protective mode,” Natalie said. “When parents are stressed too, their child’s nervous system mirrors that stress.”

Recognising these patterns ensures that teaching moments occur when both parent and child have the capacity to engage, rather than in moments of heightened emotion – a crucial approach to begin the year with calm and clarity.

Practical Steps for “See and Do”

Natalie outlined practical ways to implement this approach as families start fresh in the new year:

1. Check Your Capacity First – Ensure you’re calm before addressing tasks. Teaching when triggered is ineffective.
2. Start Small – Use micro-moments in everyday life. Speak out loud about what you see, e.g., “I see the dishwasher is full. What could we do?”
3. Ask Questions, Don’t Command – Invite participation rather than issuing orders. For example: “Can you help me with the groceries?” instead of “Put the groceries away.”
4. Praise the Action, Not the Person – Focus feedback on specific behaviour rather than personal traits: “You noticed the gate needed opening and did it – great work!”
5. Build Life Skills – These micro-moments teach children to notice and act on tasks independently, a skill that extends to school, work, and life beyond the home.

“This isn’t just about a tidy house,” Natalie emphasised. “It’s about equipping children with a skill for life.”

A Kinder Approach for a Fresh Start

By focusing on compassion, brain capacity, and micro-teaching moments, parents can reduce frustration and help children develop independence as we head into 2026. Natalie’s approach encourages parents to shift perception, ask questions, and provide structured support, rather than relying on repeated commands or criticism.

“The goal is not a perfect house, but resilient kids who can see, decide, and act,” Natalie concluded.

Key Takeaways for Parents This New Year

• Recognise your child’s brain capacity before setting expectations
• Use questions and observation instead of commands
• Praise specific actions, not personal traits
• Focus on micro-moments to teach life-long skills

Implementing these strategies can help families start the new year with calmer routines, stronger bonds, and resilient, capable children ready to face the year ahead.

Article supplied with thanks to Sonshine.

Feature image: Canva