Tag Archive for: The Centre for Effective Living

Chronic Pain: Effective Practices To Support Daily Living

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By: Michelle Nortje

Chronic pain can be a debilitating and arduous experience. However, I have a few clients who have been inspirational to me, in how they have faced up to these challenges with awareness, curiosity and grace. Despite what can feel like never-ending discomfort, mental well-being and hope can still be possible.

What Do We Mean by Chronic Pain?

Chronic pain is pain that lasts for longer than three months, or beyond the usual time it takes for tissues or injuries to heal. It might begin after an injury, illness, or surgery, or sometimes with no clear starting point at all.

Importantly, chronic pain is not just a signal of tissue damage. Over time, the nervous system itself can become more sensitive, meaning the brain and body stay on “high alert,” even when there is no ongoing injury. Pain, in this sense, becomes a learned and reinforced experience within the nervous system.

This doesn’t mean the pain is “imaginary”! Chronic pain is very real, and it reflects changes in how the brain, nerves, muscles, and stress systems interact.

How Chronic Pain and Mental Health Affect Each Other

Chronic pain doesn’t exist in isolation. It often becomes tightly linked with mood, energy, sleep, and motivation.

Many people notice that over time:

  • Pain leads to reduced activity, social withdrawal, or avoidance
  • Reduced activity can contribute to low mood, frustration, or hopelessness
  • Depression and anxiety increase muscle tension, inflammation, and pain sensitivity
  • The nervous system becomes caught in a pain–stress–fatigue cycle

This creates a loop:
Pain → less movement and pleasure → lower mood → heightened pain sensitivity

The encouraging news is that this loop can be interrupted. Gently supporting the nervous system can reduce pain intensity, increase confidence in the body, and improve quality of life.

Simple, Evidence-Based Practices to Support Chronic Pain

These practices are not about “getting rid” of pain or pushing through it. Instead, they aim to calm the nervous system, reduce reactivity, and help the body relearn safety.

Even a few minutes a day can make a difference.

1. Mindful Attention to the Body

Mindfulness for pain is not about ignoring pain or trying to make it disappear. It’s about noticing sensations with curiosity rather than fear.

How to practise:

  • Choose a comfortable position
  • Gently bring attention to your breath or body
  • When pain shows up, notice its qualities (pressure, heat, movement) rather than judging it
  • If the sensation feels overwhelming, shift attention to a neutral or pleasant area (e.g., hands, feet, or breath)

Why this helps:
Mindfulness reduces threat signalling in the brain and helps separate pain from suffering. Research shows it can reduce pain intensity, distress, and depressive symptoms.

2. Visualising Safety and Comfort

The brain responds to imagery in much the same way it responds to real experiences. Visualisation can be a powerful way to signal safety to the nervous system.

How to practise:

  • Close your eyes and imagine a place where you feel safe or at ease
  • Picture details: colours, textures, sounds
  • If helpful, imagine warmth, softness, or gentle support around painful areas

Why this helps:
Visualisation can reduce muscle guarding and calm the stress response, which often amplifies pain signals.

3. Gentle, Paced Movement

When pain is persistent, it’s common to either avoid movement altogether or push too hard on “good days.” Both can increase flare-ups.

How to practise:

  • Choose small, predictable amounts of movement (e.g., a short walk, stretching)
  • Keep it consistent rather than reactive to pain levels
  • Focus on what your body can do, not what it can’t

Why this helps:
Regular movement reassures the nervous system that the body is safe, reduces stiffness, and improves mood and confidence over time.

4. Compassionate Self-Talk During Pain Flares

How we speak to ourselves during pain matters. Threat-based thoughts (“This will never end,” “My body is broken”) increase nervous system arousal.

How to practise:

  • Notice critical or catastrophic thoughts
  • Gently replace them with supportive statements such as:
    • “This is difficult, and I’m doing my best”
    • “My body is trying to protect me”
    • “This sensation can change”

Why this helps:
Self-compassion reduces stress hormones, lowers emotional distress, and supports emotional resilience, all of which influence pain processing.

A Hopeful Note

Living with chronic pain can be exhausting and isolating. But pain is not fixed, and the nervous system remains changeable throughout life. Small, consistent practices that support safety, awareness, and self-kindness can gradually reduce pain intensity, improve mood, and help you reconnect with your life, even if pain is still present.

Support from a psychologist, physiotherapist, GP, or pain-informed therapist can further tailor these approaches to your unique experience. Contact the Centre for Effective Living for further support or questions. Some other helpful websites include Pain Australia and PainHealth.

Feature image: Canva

How to Choose Books That Match Your Mood and Emotional Needs

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By: Michelle Nortje

Choosing Books That Meet You Where You Are…

As an avid reader, I often catch myself scrolling through articles suggesting what I should read next:
“Top 10 books everyone must read,”
“Classics you can’t miss,”
“Books that will change your life.”

However, I sometimes find myself struggling to get into the book at that time, or not quite connecting to the characters. I’m sure you’ve also had the experience of picking up a highly recommended book and finding it hard to read, emotionally flat, or even overwhelming. I have been reflecting on this process for a while now, and I don’t think this means the book is bad, and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me or you! It may simply mean that the book doesn’t fit where we are right now.

Reading is definitely not a neutral activity. When we open a book, we enter into a relationship with it. Books ask things of us: attention, imagination, emotional openness, and sometimes the willingness to sit with complexity or pain. Choosing a book thoughtfully can be a gentle way of practising self-reflection and self-attunement.

So I have decided that this year, rather than asking “What’s a good book?”, it might be more helpful to ask: “What kind of book would support me at this current moment in my life?”

Reading with emotional awareness

Before choosing your next book, I would therefore like to suggest taking a moment to pause and reflect on a few simple questions first.

1. How much capacity do I have right now?

Some books require emotional stamina. While others are more restful.

You might ask yourself:

  • Am I feeling overwhelmed or fairly resourced?
  • Do I have space for emotional depth and complexity?
  • Am I tired, grieving, stressed, or seeking comfort?

When our capacity is low, a demanding or emotionally heavy book can feel like too much, even if we would enjoy it at another time.

2. What emotional tone am I able to sit with?

Instead of focusing on genre or ratings, rather consider the feel of a book.

Do I want something that feels:

  • Gentle or reassuring?
  • Absorbing and immersive?
  • Dark but meaningful?
  • Hopeful or light?
  • Reflective and slow?

The descriptions or reader tags (like those on Goodreads and The StoryGraph) are helpful here, but because they give a descriptive sense of the emotional weather of a book.

3. What do I need from reading right now?

Different books offer different kinds of nourishment and can help fill up our cup in different ways.

You might be looking for:

  • Company — feeling less alone with your inner world
  • Escape — a break from your own concerns
  • Meaning — reflection, insight, or coherence
  • Soothing — something calming and predictable
  • Stretch — a gentle challenge or new perspective

There’s no “right” reason to read. Needs change, and so can reading choices. Attuning to your needs more intentionally can help you find a book that is a better fit.

4. Do I want familiarity or something new?

At times we long for:

  • familiar themes
  • a known author’s voice
  • a sense of safety and predictability

At other times, we may feel ready for:

  • new perspectives
  • ambiguity and questions
  • emotional or intellectual challenge

Both of these focuses are valid. Paying attention to this can prevent unnecessary frustration or self-criticism when you just can’t finish a book!

5. Permission to stop

One of the kindest things you can give yourself as a reader is permission to stop reading a book that no longer feels right. Putting a book down is not a failure. It may simply mean that this book doesn’t meet you where you are right now. You can always return to it later (or not at all!).

Reading as self-attunement

Choosing books in this more emotionally attuned way mirrors a broader emotional skill of noticing your internal state and responding with care. Just as we learn to pace ourselves emotionally, we can also learn to pace our reading lives. When we choose books with this kind of awareness, reading becomes less about achievement and more about our relationship with the story and with ourselves. In this way, reading becomes a quiet way of listening to ourselves.

In therapy, we often notice that the stories, books and poems people are drawn to can reflect emotional needs, unanswered questions, or a longing for understanding and connection. Bibliotherapy is one way of working with this process more intentionally, using books and stories to support self-awareness, emotional regulation, and meaning-making. If you’re curious about how therapy might help you better understand your inner world, develop greater self-attunement, or find steadier ways of caring for your wellbeing, you’re very welcome to enquire about seeing one of the psychologists here at The Centre for Effective Living. We’d be glad to explore what support might be most helpful for you.

Feature image: Canva

3… 2…1… Sleep: How Your Body Builds (and Loses) The Drive To Sleep

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By: Thomas Cheeseman

Most of us think of sleep as something we “decide” to do — we go to bed, close our eyes, and hope sleep arrives.

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The Man of Tomorrow and The Quiet Benefits of Kindness

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By: The Centre for Effective Living

With the announcement of Man of Tomorrow, the sequel to Superman (2025), the internet continues to respond to what Superman represents in today’s world.
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Processing Emotions: Do You Internalise, or Externalise?

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By: Johanna McCarthy

As a psychologist, I often talk with clients about the different ways people process their emotions. Read more

Self-Compassion vs Self-Esteem: Why Compassion Wins

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By: Nicola Hodreng

For many years, self-esteem was considered the holy grail of mental health. If we could just feel better about ourselves, we would be happier, healthier, and more resilient.
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How Childhood Messages Shape Your Inner Critic and Four Ways to Break Free

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By: The Centre for Effective Living

It’s almost a cliché that therapists want to ask about your childhood. But have you ever wondered why we’re so interested?
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People Pleasing: The Positive Side of Agreeableness and Ways To Manage It

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By: Rinet Van Lill

The habit of prioritising others’ needs over your own is often misunderstood as purely negative — as if it only means saying yes too often or avoiding disagreement at all costs.
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Value-Based Decision-Making: 5 Tips for Making Tough Decisions Mindfully

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By: Michelle Nortje

Clients often come to therapy struggling with the weight of decisions. I’ve heard comments like, “What if I make the wrong choice?”, “I’m so tired of making decisions every day!”, or “There are just too many options, how can I possibly decide?”
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