Finding Grace in The Chaos of Parenting
By: Melody Tan
Yelling at children—especially younger kids—appears to be effective. They stop whatever they’re doing (or not meant to be doing) and start obeying you.
Do You Know Your Child’s Love Language?
By: Melody Tan
In 1997, Dr Gary Chapman released the book The 5 Love Languages of Children as a follow-up to his bestseller, The Five Love Languages.
The concepts that Dr Chapman shares in his book are essentially about how to increase a child’s sense of self-worth, love, belonging and role in the family. He narrowed down the ways children feel loved to five key ones (not dissimilar from the original).
While many parents have reported the book has helped children feel more deeply understood, valued and, most of all, loved, Dr Chapman’s work is not without controversy. Critics have pointed out a lack of scientific evidence to support the theory, its vagueness and potential oversimplification of the categories, and the potential for misuse.
There is however, still merit in the ideas behind love languages in that focusing on them can help you strengthen your relationship with your child. The key is to remember, and as pointed out by Dr Chapman himself, even if your child has a dominant love language, they will benefit from all five ways of receiving love.
It is crucial that parents still practice all five love languages. Show them love in all the languages and then teach them how to use these for themselves. The value is not only for your children but for the people with whom they will live and associate with.
Here’s a bit more about the five love languages for kids:
1. Words of Affirmation
Compliment them or their work. Have interactive conversations with them, both sharing your thoughts. These kids may love a good book, thoughtful gifts which include words, and heartfelt messages (think a note in the lunch box).
2. Acts of Service
Allow them to help you and offer your help whenever appropriate. Thoughtful acts and unexpected assistance can make them feel like you appreciate them. There are lots of practical ways you can show your child you love them without saying a word.
3. Gifts
Give them something tangible that lets them know you were thinking about them. Something in their favourite colour, animal they love or food they enjoy to show you know what they like. Gifts don’t have to be expensive or even cost at all. Be creative!
4. Quality Time
Every child wants to connect with their primary caregiver. Quality time doesn’t necessarily look like hours on end of uninterrupted play, but it does require genuine undivided interest to make it count.
5. Physical Touch
All children thrive on physical contact. This could be a pat on the back, a hug, holding hands while going on a walk or a game of tickles.
Ultimately, whether or not you fully embrace Dr Chapman’s theory, intentionally expressing love in a variety of meaningful ways can only deepen your connection with your child and help them grow into secure, compassionate individuals who both recognise and generously give love.
Melody Tan is a passionate advocate for empowering mothers through connection, faith and digital engagement. She is project manager of Mums At The Table. She lives in Sydney with her husband and their primary-school-aged son.
Article Supplied with thanks to Sign of The Times Magazine
Feature image: Canva
Overcoming The Parenting Guilt Trap
By: Sabrina Peters
If you’ve ever gone to bed replaying the day in your head, wondering if you were too harsh, too distracted, or just not enough, you are not alone.
5 Step Parenting Lessons I Learned the Long Way
I have been a step-parent for close to twenty years. It’s a unique journey, and no person’s experience will be the same.
No family has a recipe for successfully combining relationships with the other family, adding to the blended family, or navigating the myriad complicated circumstances that can occur with family breakdown. My husband and I both brought children into our relationship. Due to infertility, we were unable to add to our family. When we married, we both became step-parents. I am sharing from my experience things that worked in our house, as well as things we learned from our own family.
Give the Children Some Agency
If you are starting the blended family journey, something that worked really well for us was to work with our kids on the house rules and consequences. We included our children in the conversation, then made sure we had a couple of posters with the rules up. In a situation where both of them had very little control, it meant they could gain some buy-in. It also helped with different rules at different homes. Because the kids had a part in discussing our house rules, it removed ‘well, I can do it at the other house’ from the conversation.
The Kids Need Time
The kids need time to readjust when they come back from the other family’s house. Even in the most amicable of situations, there are likely to be some different rules and expectations between homes. It can be challenging, confusing, and frustrating for kids to come back, and it takes a minute to adjust. We used to find it took the kids at least a couple of days to acclimatise, which definitely led to some challenging behaviour.
Avoid Being the Disciplinarian
It may be a controversial take, but as much as humanly possible, for us, it worked to have discipline done by the primary parent. I am not talking about situations where the step-parent was the only one present; if my husband and I were both in the room and something happened with our respective children, we would try to discipline our own. Our role as step-parents was to build relationship. We didn’t always handle this well in our house, and it can quickly lead to resentment when the non-biological parent constantly steps in to discipline unnecessarily.
Communication Between Partners is Key
Communicate with your partner. I did not communicate some things that happened early on in our relationship. It was while we were adjusting to being a blended family, and I was afraid to upset everyone. I was trying to make things work, and I didn’t want to hurt my husband’s feelings. We had already both had a failed relationship, and I was terrified of messing up our marriage, so I kept quiet instead of working through things together. I carried a lot of anxiety in the early days, trying to hold it all together. My husband also struggled with this. It took a while to find a good balance, but communication is key.
Prioritise Your Marriage
Your relationship with your spouse is primary. My daughter is married now, and we have discussed this in detail a few times over the years. I did not put my husband first in the early days of our relationship. It had been my daughter and me against the world for a few years, and I jumped too quickly to her defense, often without hearing his side. Sometimes it was necessary, because I understood her unique perspective on life better than he did. But sometimes it wasn’t. When we blended the families, I just wanted everyone to be happy, and at times, that came at the expense of the relationship.
They Are Not Adults
We always tried to keep in mind that the children in our family were just that, children. Children hear everything, even when you don’t think they are listening. There is no place for any bad mouthing, gossip, or abuse of the other parent in front of them. Yours or your partner’s fight with the other parent is not their fight. They, as children, should be able to be children for as long as they can, and part of that is not being dragged into their parents’ adult situation. Doing this is not easy. Family breakdown comes with all sorts of tension and pain. As a step-parent, there is nothing to be gained by saying horrible things to a child about their other parent. All that will happen is they will resent you.
Blending a family is tricky. Not only are you bringing the scars from your previous relationship into the new one, even if you have done some healing, the kids can be deeply affected by what has happened in their home. Every situation is completely unique, and step-parenting itself is a unique journey. I have found in my own life and family, it has been a gift. I have learned things about myself that surprised me a good way, but also found some areas that really needed some work. We have developed a strong family bond over time, but it was the insights developed through the ups and downs of the journey that led to this.
Article supplied with thanks to Lorrene McClymont.
About the Author: Lorrene McClymont is a writer and photographer from Hope Images. On her blog ‘Moments to Rest’, she shares about rest, faith, and family.
Feature image: Canva
Supporting a Child with Separation Anxiety
By: Sabrina Peters
It’s one thing to drop your child off at school or daycare and see them wave goodbye. It’s another thing entirely when that goodbye comes with tears, clinging, and pleas not to leave.
Building Resilient Kids as We Head Into a New Year
By: Bec Harris
As we head into a new year, many parents are reflecting on family routines and goals for 2026. One common challenge is helping children take responsibility for everyday tasks – like putting away school bags, picking up towels, or tidying toys – without constant reminders. While it may seem like children are acting deliberately, understanding what’s happening in their brains can completely change how we respond.
Learning Intervention Specialist, Natalie Nicholls from PLECS Learning, shared insights about resilient kids and how parents can take a compassionate, brain-based approach to executive functioning as they head into the new year.
Understanding the “See and Do” Approach
Natalie explained that expecting children to automatically complete tasks often overlooks how their brains process information. For example, a child may ignore a school bag left in the hallway, not out of defiance, but because their brain is overwhelmed with other priorities or sensory input.
“When we delve into the why underneath, it helps us get more action and the results we’re actually looking for,” Natalie said.
As we start a new year, parents can shift their perception. Instead of assuming a child is being difficult, ask: What else is going on in their brain right now? Recognising that each child – and adult – is wired differently is a crucial first step toward effective, compassionate guidance.
How Brain Chemistry Influences Behaviour
Natalie highlighted the role of dopamine, a chemical that influences motivation, task initiation, and attention. Low dopamine levels, often seen in children with ADHD traits, can make it harder for kids to start tasks or notice what needs to be done.
Parents can support their children in the new year by:
- Exploring ways to increase dopamine naturally
- Using structured strategies to teach children how to see and act on tasks
“We cannot expect a child’s behaviour to exceed the brain’s capacity,” Natalie explained. “This applies to adults too – when expectations exceed capacity, we get stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed.”
Understanding this principle allows parents to approach children with more compassion and less frustration in 2026 and beyond.
Trauma and Neurodiversity: Seeing the Bigger Picture
Natalie also addressed the impact of trauma and neurodiversity. Children who have experienced trauma may react based on the age at which the trauma occurred. Similarly, children with ADHD or other neurodiverse traits may appear hyperactive or withdrawn.
“The brain will go into protective mode,” Natalie said. “When parents are stressed too, their child’s nervous system mirrors that stress.”
Recognising these patterns ensures that teaching moments occur when both parent and child have the capacity to engage, rather than in moments of heightened emotion – a crucial approach to begin the year with calm and clarity.
Practical Steps for “See and Do”
Natalie outlined practical ways to implement this approach as families start fresh in the new year:
- Check Your Capacity First – Ensure you’re calm before addressing tasks. Teaching when triggered is ineffective.
- Start Small – Use micro-moments in everyday life. Speak out loud about what you see, e.g., “I see the dishwasher is full. What could we do?”
- Ask Questions, Don’t Command – Invite participation rather than issuing orders. For example: “Can you help me with the groceries?” instead of “Put the groceries away.”
- Praise the Action, Not the Person – Focus feedback on specific behaviour rather than personal traits: “You noticed the gate needed opening and did it – great work!”
- Build Life Skills – These micro-moments teach children to notice and act on tasks independently, a skill that extends to school, work, and life beyond the home.
“This isn’t just about a tidy house,” Natalie emphasised. “It’s about equipping children with a skill for life.”
A Kinder Approach for a Fresh Start
By focusing on compassion, brain capacity, and micro-teaching moments, parents can reduce frustration and help children develop independence as we head into 2026. Natalie’s approach encourages parents to shift perception, ask questions, and provide structured support, rather than relying on repeated commands or criticism.
“The goal is not a perfect house, but resilient kids who can see, decide, and act,” Natalie concluded.
Key Takeaways for Parents This New Year
- Recognise your child’s brain capacity before setting expectations
- Use questions and observation instead of commands
- Praise specific actions, not personal traits
- Focus on micro-moments to teach life-long skills
Implementing these strategies can help families start the new year with calmer routines, stronger bonds, and resilient, capable children ready to face the year ahead.
Article supplied with thanks to Sonshine.
Feature image: Canva
Preparing for Your First Baby
By: Sabrina Peters
There’s nothing quite like the moment you find out you’re expecting your first child. It’s thrilling. Surreal. Overwhelming. From picking out onesies to researching prams, the list of “things to do” seems endless.
Screens & Self-Esteem: What Every Parent Should Know
By: Sabrina Peters
They’re scrolling before school, snapping photos between classes, checking likes after dinner. For today’s teens, screens aren’t just part of life, they are life.
Child Psychology – If Feelings Could Talk
By: Bec Harris
Susan Woodworth from Walk and Talk Psychology discusses Child Psychology and what certain unresolved emotions look like in adulthood.