Child Psychology – If Feelings Could Talk
By: Bec Harris
Susan Woodworth from Walk and Talk Psychology discusses Child Psychology and what certain unresolved emotions look like in adulthood.
Life Colours Your Emotion
“While your feelings are true and valid, they don’t always reflect reality or the truth of the situation,” began Susan.
The Roadmap of Feelings
Feelings of loneliness do not necessarily indicate actual isolation.
“If you’re feeling lonely, it doesn’t mean that you have no friends or that no one wants to talk to you,” she explained, “Loneliness is actually just a sign or a guide. I think of it like a roadmap, a street sign, and it’s pointing you to what you need.
She argued it is actually a way to guide you to connection.
Boundaries Crossed
Susan said that anger isn’t necessarily a response to being wronged, but rather our boundaries being crossed.
“Anger comes down to boundaries,” she said, listing further emotions that can often be misunderstood.
“Shame might be self-compassion you need to be kind to yourself and resentment might mean you need to look at that person that you need to forgive.”
Created to Create
For feelings of emptiness, Susan encouraged a creative outlet to fill that void.
“Anxiety or stress might be telling you to slow down, one thing at a time, and to breathe.”
Recognise the Feeling
Stepping back to figure out what you are feeling creates a space between you and that emotion, said Susan.
“This is so that you don’t get swept up with your emotions and swept away with the whole thing, you create that distance first and recognize that feeling.
Another Point of View
“The second stage is then like a fact-finding exploration,” she continued, “So, it’s curious, gentle questioning, looking for other viewpoints. “Susan said that this can be very useful for children to process and regulate as they look to understand why parents might show certain emotions. It is curious and gentle questioning.
“Maybe my mum isn’t angry at me because I was naughty this morning, maybe she’s just rushing because we’re late for school and she’s not mad at all.”
Feedback for Problem Solving
Finally, Susan outlined the important last step in gathering that information; to feed it back to ourselves and work toward a solution.
“We’ve got to look at it from different angles and then feed it back to ourselves,” she encouraged, “Work out what you need to problem solve.”
“After you’ve done that,” she concluded, “You have a compass of where you’re supposed to go. Go in that direction.”
Article supplied with thanks to Sonshine.
Feature image: Canva
