How To Create Meaningful Family Moments
You’re doing the same thing everyday… And that’s good.
The Fiji holiday. The pool in the backyard. The pile of presents on a birthday morning. These were not the ingredients of my childhood. And I had a good one.
So, if it wasn’t the presents and the trips, what made it good?
Think about your best family feelings from childhood and ask yourself, “What gave me that feeling?”
I remember frequent trips in our old Mitsubishi van with no air conditioning, singing songs from Sister Act with my siblings. (We nailed them). I remember eating dessert with my family at the big dining table every night, my mum pulling out whatever she had baked that day.
None of those memories required an extravagant spend. In fact, they all felt completely ordinary at the time, because they happened all the time.
As a parent now, I can see the temptation to rely on spending money to create childhood memories for my kids. But I wonder if predictable family patterns, habits and traditions are actually the glue of a good childhood.
My little family is somewhat lazy in the evenings. Our family habit is to sit around and watch TV together. We’re not looking at our phones. We’re all engaged with the one screen in front of us.
Our incessant commentary throughout every show drives my husband crazy. He frequently pauses it to say, “You’re missing the plot! That was an important part of the story and you missed it!” because we have talked over all the action on the screen.
It’s not board-game-level family bonding, but it’s us. We’re now at the point where the kids will yell at 7pm, “Are we all watching something?” because the evening doesn’t feel quite right if we haven’t all been in the lounge room together.
I’ve come to see that repeating the same little habits, daily, weekly or monthly, creates stability and predictability in an increasingly chaotic world. Deep down, I think that’s something our kids not only want but need.
In some ways, it would be easier to throw in a big holiday at the end of the year and declare, “This is our family time,” than to sit through a TV show you have no interest in for an hour each night simply because your kids want you there.
The holiday may become a wonderful memory and an amazing Insta post, it cannot replace the ordinary connection moments.
Maybe your family gets takeaway every Friday night. Maybe you pray before dinner, always say “I love you” at bedtime, or have some other monotonous, seemingly unspecial tradition.
Those are the things that will be remembered.
The ordinary things take time and consistent effort. Life may even feel monotonous to you, but to your children, those ordinary moments are becoming their ‘good childhood’.
Article supplied with thanks to Rhema 99.7.
About the Author: Chloe Ellenbacher is the co-host of The Fresh Start Morning Show on Rhema 99.7.
Feature image: Supplied
