Can Good Come from Conflict? Listening for the Spirit’s voice

By: Brian Harris

Sometimes it is better to think about conflict in a peaceful season, so that when the tide changes, you are prepared.

I remember the meeting clearly. The church where I was pastor was going well, and we’d specially grown in the number of students attending the church. Several had been baptised, and a few of us were convinced that if we made some minor changes to the way we were doing some things, a lot more would be reached. I went to the church meeting that was due to discuss the changes full of confidence. So far as I was concerned, this was a no brainer. People might have some suggestions to make what we proposed even better, but it never entered my head that anyone would seriously oppose what was suggested.

Even when our grouchiest church member sprang to her feet, I didn’t have a sense of foreboding. That changed pretty quickly. In no uncertain terms she made her opposition to the changes plain. Her summary argument went, ‘If we implement these changes, we will get even more students coming to this church… and we all know that we’ve got more than enough already!’

The Shock of Opposition

I classify that night as the one when I lost my innocence in ministry. I had never before contemplated that anyone might feel that they didn’t want the church to grow, or that they would be opposed to certain kinds of people being converted and coming to the church.

True, I had often heard about conflict between Christians. I knew that the church where I had been sent as a youngster had split over the charismatic movement. And as a young Baptist pastor I had read of churches that had left the Baptist Union over disagreements about one thing or another. And in the divided political context of the South Africa where I lived at that stage, I was very aware of the disagreement amongst Christians as to what constituted the just and fair path in the political chaos of that troubled period. But this was the first time in my personal experience where God was so clearly doing something in the midst of our congregation and another Christian was standing up and saying NO!

The Reality of Conflict Among Christians

Conflict amongst believers. We’d like to believe that it doesn’t happen… but it’s just not true.

So what’s the Spirit’s role when believers disagree?

Let’s look at two accounts of conflict in Acts. First Acts 6:1–7, then Acts 15:36–41.

Two Conflicts in the Book of Acts

Some opening comments before we see what they teach us.

The feeding scheme for widows outlined in Acts 6 was wonderful. It showed real compassion and care, and reflected an awareness that church is family. You’ve got to give the early church a great tick of approval and a hearty well done for trying to help those of their number who were struggling. But even good things can become divisive, and it soon became apparent that the Greek speaking widows were being left out of the food distribution. And oh the trouble it threatened to cause…

And then there is the account of the fight between Paul and Barnabas… They’d been going great guns in their mission work. But then they couldn’t agree on how to respond to John Mark’s early defection, and later desire to rejoin their mission.

It is easy to understand the conflict outlined at the end of Acts 15. It’s the classic person versus organisation dilemma. Barnabas opts for the person, and wants to give John Mark a second chance. Paul is your traditional organisation man. He is insistent – you’ve got to keep your standards high. It’s a great honour to be chosen as a missionary. John Mark treated it lightly – and for the long-term good of the church, you can’t just gloss over that.

While noting the conflict, perhaps the first thing to say is, good on them both for caring.

God at Work in the Midst of Disagreement

So what do we learn from these two conflicts…

If conflict makes you freeze…

Let’s face it, most people don’t enjoy conflict. The very thought of it and they freeze. If you are one of them, having a whole message on how the Spirit can work in conflict might seem to you to be less than inspiring.

Actually I’d like to challenge that assumption. God is able to bring good out of the worst of circumstances. This is the Joseph principle of Genesis 50:20 – “What you intended for evil, God has worked for good…”

These two situations do work for good.

Acts 6:7 gives the wonderful summary outcome of the church’s response to the conflict between the Hebrew and Greek widows: “So the Word of God spread. The number of disciples in Jerusalem increased rapidly, and a large number of priests became obedient to the faith.”

In the Paul versus Barnabas dispute over John Mark, instead of having one missionary trip as originally planned, the result is that there are now two – double the amount of work gets done. And in the longer term, Paul has a fantastic ministry, so does Barnabas, and rather interestingly, so does John Mark – who goes on to write Mark’s gospel, and later becomes a close associate of Paul’s.

What’s more, the split between Paul and Barnabas provides an opening for Silas to become Paul’s fellow missionary… and Silas goes on to have a memorable ministry. There are pluses everywhere.

The Spirit versus the Evil One

Of course you have to ask, ‘so how come such positive outcomes? Surely that is not always the case.’

In conflict situations, both Satan and the Spirit are at work. Satan will work to shut things down, or to ensure the most destructive outcome, while the Spirit will work for redemptive purposes. Just behind the scenes a real battle takes place.

Let’s explore this.

One trick of Satan’s is to get things to shut down. The evil one’s motives are always negative. For example, when you sin… Let’s say you lose your temper really badly, the Spirit will convict you of sin… ‘that’s wrong… now walk away from it by doing this.’ Satan will simply rubbish you and try and get you out of the game altogether. ‘Right – so you’re a Christian. Fancy acting like that. You’re useless. God could never use someone like you. Look what you’ve done!’

In these conflicts Satan’s desire would have been to sidetrack the church from its mission – to get it to so focus on the conflict that everyone started fighting and the mission was forgotten. But the Spirit breaks through wonderfully and won’t allow that.

Acts 6:2 is the Big Picture breakthrough: “It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the Word of God in order to wait on tables…” You can almost hear the Evil One let out an “Oh bother…” or whatever it is that he says when exasperated! Paul and Barnabas likewise keep the Big Picture in mind. No talk of closing down the mission – even if they are no longer going to be on it together.

How can good come from evil? It’s the wonderful creativity of the Spirit that makes this possible, but we must also go in with the attitude, of ‘Come what may, God must still be honoured…’

Unexpected and Creative Solutions

There is a lovely story from the Middle East which illustrates the possibility of unexpected and creative solutions being found.

A farmer who died left his 17 camels to his 3 sons. In that culture, birth position is very important, so he had left ½ his estate to his oldest, 1/3 to the middle son and 1/9 to the youngest…

There are more solutions than we imagine… but it involves not freezing (conflict is terrible) but rather quietly trusting, and praying, ‘Holy Spirit, help us to find a way forward.’ And we might need to be open to the unexpected… solutions we would not usually contemplate.

As you pray for a way forward, remember that the underlying attitude in both Acts 6 and Acts 15 is, ‘come what may Lord, it is crucial that we don’t get side tracked from spreading your word… Be honoured even in the midst of this present conflict.’

Practical Responses to Conflict

There are some very practical pointers that flow from Acts 6 and 15:

Listen: When the early church leaders heard that the Greek widows had not been included in the food distribution, rather than become defensive, they listened…
Remember the (not so) little things: The early disciples kept to the big picture… but they didn’t ignore the issue…
Allow differences: In the midst of these stories of conflict, I find a liberating truth. Just because someone sees something in a different way, it doesn’t mean that they are Attila the Hun. We don’t all have to see things in exactly the same way. Indeed, that’s why we have different gifts…
Remember the Big Picture: So much is lost when relationships break down…
Remember that both the Spirit and the Evil One are going to be at work: Pray, pray and pray again…
Stay close to the Cross: We didn’t crucify Jesus because we loved Him…

The Cross, Our Centre and Hope

How can the Spirit use conflict?

Stand at the foot of the Cross, and pray,

Oh crucified God, you suffered and died so that we might find peace.

We are caught up in endless trivial conflicts…

Forgive us… and show us a way forward…

Article supplied with thanks to Brian Harris.

About the Author: Brian is a speaker, teacher, leader, writer, author and respected theologian who is founding director of the AVENIR Leadership Institute, fostering leaders who will make a positive impact on the world.

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